Castle Penni

Your body is cold
but your touch is warm yet
Solace in blood
and healing in torment

As you go deeper
Heaven may not be closer
but Hell takes a step back

The pain you give is less
than the pain you take away
Knowing where the escape lies
enables me to stay

As you go deeper
Heaven may not be closer
but Hell takes a step back

By weakening me
you make me stronger
In your deathly embrace
I survive a bit longer

As you go deeper
Heaven may not be closer
but Hell takes a step back

My Heaven is a long way off
And my Hell is close at hand
But I've got a photo
of an angel's face
And through her I understand

She's chained by the faults of mortals
I'm too blind to find the key
She's so far away and
I'm undeserving
But this angel somehow chose me

I'm surrounded by her absence
But I can feel her on my skin
And though gods mistook all
her purest motives
No devil is my angel's kin

I don't have it all,
But darling, that's what I'll give
I bequeath my life to you
And you teach me to live

Together we'll earn back our wings

Hearts take more than a lifetime to heal
Our mistakes can't be reversed
My toll's paid in blood and
I don't have enough
She's my saviour, I'm her curse

The light is turned away from us
The ground is hard to cover
But we're accustomed
to the dark by now
And my love, we've got each other

I don't have it all,
But darling, that's what I'll give
I bequeath my life to you
And you teach me to live

I don't have it all,
But angel, that's what I'll give
I bestow my heart on you
You teach me what love is

Together, we'll earn back our wings

What was that old game we played?
The game you always won
The one with rules you made up as we went along

The one that ended in bruises
The one that led to tears
The one that fueled my madness and fed my fears

'Cause I don't want to play
I never wanted to play
I don't want to play anymore

You said our game was secret
A little thing we shared
You let me believe that no-one else would care

We hid the scores under shirt-sleeves
Under threats and jeans and glares
Now you've lost the old scoreboard but believe me... it's still there

But I never want to play
I never wanted to play
I don't want to play anymore

I didn't want to play
I never wanted to play
I can't play anymore

I can't play your game
Not anymore
Not anymore

Why do I say I want you
when all I want to do
is shove a big fucking knife
right through your throat
where all those words bleed out
You never thought it through
When I asked for your blood
I just wanted it all
That little bit was nothing -
a token, like your
so-called affection
But you don't know what's wrong
'cause if you found out
that pedestal you're on
might crack under your steel-caps
Yeah sure you got my body
under your command
As much good as it'll do you now
But my heart left you long ago
and it's that
That lie
That sweetness
undercover
That keeps me from fucking well
cutting out your eyes
and pissing in the sockets
Fucking hope you're happy there
in that fucked up
tiny
lonely
dead end
reality
That you've built up under your
assumed
dictatorship

UNFINISHED

We made a grey world from the green
What a folly our choice has been
Our eyes closed against the scene
"We are gods!" we claim

Our imagined immortality
A new meaning given to "free"
No-one just allowed to be
Human these days

Masters of our situation
Unconcerned with conservation
Profit, drugs and recreation
Common sense replaced

Our legacy a wasted shell
Our tender earth a new-found Hell
But we're alright, we're doing well
Or so the TVs say

UNFINISHED

You were never meant to leave me
Not meant to be the first to go
I was selfish
Wanting to be the one
Who didn't have to know

You were supposed to last forever
Or at least as long as me
I can't accept
The blank space there now
Where you used to be

The last words I said to you
Were harsh and cruel and wrong
I was thoughtless
Your flight was justified
I couldn't have been more wrong

They wouldn't let me see you
What they left of you to see
Yet still I wake
Thinking I hear you
Where you couldn't be