Photos, meh.
These were taken in my mother's "backyard". And yes, those are vinyl, I promise. ^_~
Photo 1 Check out how emo I look. XD
Photo 2 I think I was checking for spiders... >.>
Photo 3 Smoke! I always wanted a smoke photo for some reason...
These ones were me getting used to the new camera. I still can't figure the damn thing out. Obviously, I hadn't worked out the date/time thing on there when these were taken. e_e
Photo 4 Those pants make me look hell chunky, dammit. >.<
Photo 5 Hehe... bed hair + beanie hair = this photo.
Photo 6 Beanie goes back on. Hair too bad to continue without it. XD
Cut my own hair again... XD
Photo 7 Lol... unintentional emo-ness...scary. Lmao...
My name is: So not telling here.
-nicknames: Penni, Pen-Pen, Pen^2... Some people still know me by various different names I used in the "old days" (partly since I have never liked my "real" name despite its meaning being absolutely perfect for me - much to the surprise of those who named me - and partly because I have never been able to settle on just one name for all situations/roles/times/etc), and some call me Opium, since that's one of my online names and the name of one of my main My Little Pony personas. And I dunno what people call me behind my back but I'm sure it's just as long, interesting and varied a list.
-sex: Biology says female. I say fuck biology.
-birthday: Spring.
-colour: What?
-star sign: Virgo, dammit. e_e
-place of birth: Some place in Australia.
-current residence: Some place in Australia.
-hair colour: Depends on the day. Currently it's in its natural state. Brownish.
-eye colour: Unfortunately hazel or something. Brownish too. Though apparently this is another area where I can't make up my mind, as they occasionally decide to have moments of HyperColour-ness.
-height: Er... I think I'm 5'6" - 5'7" or somewhere around there.
-writing hand: Right, generally. But due to frequent injury of hands, I can sorta do a passable job with either.
-BODY ILLS + SKILLS-
-do you bite your nails: Occasionally. But I try to file them to points usually. It's a fight between a bad but difficult-to-break habit and my desire to have claws.
-can you roll your tongue: Yeah, why?
-can you blow smoke rings: Only when no-one's watching. e_e
-Can you blow spit bubbles: Ew, I hope not.
-can you cross your eyes: I can roll them in opposite directions, move them independantly of each other and shake them - like, I'd say I can vibrate them but that just sounds wrong. But yeah. I have seriously flexible eyes or something.
-tattoos and where: GODDAMMIT I JUST NEED THE MONEY D:< However, I do have a heart on my wrist, and some scarification patterns and stuff. There's an unfinished scorpion curling around my bottom left rib, "Guilty beyond words" going all the way down the inside of my left calf, and there was a little pentagram/star thing on my wrist but it's been long since obliterated by other stuff. e_e I also had "UGLY" written across my chest, but it went away thanks to the sun getting at it. XD
-do you make your bed daily: Hell no. Unless you count flinging my sleeping bag off the couch to make room to sit, and carting my plushie pony (who doubles as a pillow) all over the house.
-what's sexiest on a guy: Great hair, pretty eyes, good skin, slim and athletic figure (although in some cases, like with a hell-masculine physique, a hint of a beer gut is acceptable - Till Lindemann wouldn't be Till Lindemann without beer!), emo/metal/goth clothes (can't stand emos, but damn they've got some cute style... now if we were just allowed to gag them... >.>), spiky things like those wristbands or whatever... or hot uniforms... tattoos... collars... Oh, and authority or power of some sort, courage and confidence, and a bit of evil-ness are good, but they gotta have a hint of the innocent, petulant young boy about them still, so you can look after them and have them rely on you, and you can properly dominate them. >:D And have you seen a guy with his intercostal muscles properly developed? I dunno what it is about that, but damn it's cool.
-what's sexiest on a girl: So many things... everything. Boys are fun and pretty and make nice toys, but a girl can be your whole universe if she lets you see her heart.
-do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it: I have no idea. O_o
-what utensils do you use eating pizza: Handses.
-do you cook: When I have the energy, ingredients and time. I like to cook and have fun with preparation and presentation more so than the actual eating, but too often I haven't got everything I need or haven't got the time when I do want to cook, and when I don't want to cook is when I'm forced to because there's nothing instant in the kitchen.
-GROOMING-
-how often do you brush your teeth: Every day, at least. Depends how obsessive I'm feeling at the time, and whether or not I've just eaten or slept or been drinking. If I'm drunk I'll probably pass out first and wake up smelling like I've been sucking on a camel's arse all day though, I must admit.
-how often do you shower/bathe: Same as above, only substitute moving around for eating. And in summer I get addicted to the cold tap.
-how long do these showers last: Depends on whether I'm washing my hair or shaving or whatever. But... I'm thorough.
-hair drying method: Depends. If I'm being lazy and it's hot, I tend to stick my head under a tap pretty often and just shake my head dog-style and then simply keep it out of my eyes until the next trip to the tap. But apart from that, usually a towel at first, then finger-dried to an extent, or sometimes blow-dried with this straightening stuff 'cause my hair's a bitch that won't obey the law of gravity. It's short, like boy-short, and naturally curly (despite my exhaustive efforts), so it's completely mental.
-do you swear: Er... I should come with a parental warning label.
-what color is your bedroom: FUCKING OFF-WHITE. Ew. Damn rentals and their restrictions on letting me paint cool shit on my walls.
-do you use an alarm clock: I live with someone who uses one, so I guess I have an alarm-clock-by-proxy? If I had my way, though, it'd only be for special occasions where I actually wanted to get hauled out of the middle of a delightful Vam-oriented dream.
-name six things or people you're obsessed with:
* Vam. They count as one thing 'cause they have their own little name thinger, okay?
* Germany. Iceland. I can't think of a way to combine those two legitimately, but I'm listing them as one anyway.
* Environmental/animal activism, and reducing the population of stupid, cruel, heartless humans on the planet. Yeah, I can combine those. >:D
* Horses. All animals, really, but I'm allowed a favourite.
* Realism in writing and roleplay which is meant to be realistic. If you're gonna rp as or write for a wild horse, or a wolf, or whatever - please, please, PLEASE do some research into how your character should behave. If you're writing or rp-ing in a fantasy setting, you should still stick to the laws of realism in the world you're writing in, even if there are unicorns and dragons everywhere and everyone has a pair of magic sneakers. Unless you're in the universe a couple of my friends were rp-ing in several years back. One guy had this magic power where he could summon waiters out of thin air, and this other girl could cartoon-style pull anything she wanted from behind her back.
* The X-Files, which stems from an unhealthy interest in paranormal phenomena and dead things.
-What's your sleeping position: I dunno... I'm usually asleep when that happens.
-in hot weather do you use a blanket: No. I use a sheet though - I'm self-conscious even when sleeping.
-do you sleepwalk: Apparently so. They ran tests on me. ^_^
-do you talk in your sleep: Yeah, and apparently I laugh in my sleep too. People keep bitching about it. Wish I knew what was so damn funny, I could use a good joke every now and then while I'm awake. e_e
-how about the light on: During... what, exactly? >.>
-what are you wearing right now?: My black vinyl pants, black turtleneck, knee-length black formal-type jacket with a Heartagram patch on the front (like a school blazer's patch), black biker boots that come halfway up my calves and have a line of big buckles down the sides, black beanie and so much black eyeliner I look like a panda. And even my underwear is black, with little white hearts and skull-and-crossbones on them, lol. ...There seems to be a theme here.
-WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU-
had sex: God, I don't know. I don't keep track of that.
watched Bambi: Hey, I love that movie.
cried: Don't ask that.
talked on the phone: FUCK I HATE PHONES.
read a book: I am currently in the middle of Gunther Grass's The Rat and going over some old Poe stuff from the library, I'm re-visiting Malleus Maleficarum in bits and pieces (it's not something you just sit down and read the whole way through), and for light fun I've been picking some old favourites back up like Play Little Victims and Grimbold's Other World. Re-reading Dante's Inferno and trying again to get into Paradise Lost.
-MUSIC-
is music important to you: Yes, very.
do you sing: I suppose you could call it that. I try.
what instruments do you play: Vocals, some violin, some keyboard. But apart from my own voice, I don't seem to be able to afford to play anything enough to say I actually play it.
in your opinion what band is the best of all time: There are too many... Placebo, Smashing Pumpkins, Nirvana, Rammstein, HIM, Slayer, Joy Division, Radiohead (before they went funny, at least), The Doors, Tool (before they started taking themselves too seriously)...
-DO YOU LIKE-
pop music: Ugh.
rock music: Yeah, if it's good.
punk music: See above.
rap music: See above.
hip-hop/RnB: Hell no.
country: Alright, some of it. But I'm selective about it.
jazz: Meh...
classical: Jawohl. <3
new age: What exactly counts as New Age? That rainforest sounds stuff with pan flutes and bird recordings? O_o If so, then only when I'm meditating or in a fairy shop.
hardcore: If you mean like metal and stuff, then yes. YES. Again, though... if it's good. Seriously, quality makes a lot of difference to any music, more so than genre.
indie rock: Again - yes, if it's good.
emo: I... think so? I don't know. These genres make little sense to me, I can never work out where the borders are between one and the next. e_e
-WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX-
What do you notice first?: Not entirely sure... hair usually comes to my attention pretty quick though.
Do you have a crush on anyone: I am technically polyamorous, but currently in a monogamous relationship due to a mutual agreement. And I get crushes in batches. At the moment - Bam Margera, Till Lindemann (Rammstein's singer), Stuart Halusz (I think that's how it was spelt... I can't remember - but he's a semi-local actor I kinda hung around for a while in my late teens), Max Riemelt (sexy young German actor), Joseph Mengele and Reinhard Heydrich (despite them being dead Nazis... shut up, I know it's weird, you don't need to remind me), Gunther von Hagens (yeah he's old and cuts up dead people - again, shut up)... and there are a couple girls who should remain unnamed since one was my best friend of years ago, who I lost contact with but never forgot, and the other... I came out for her, and we never ended up together, but she's one of the world's rarest creatures - a truly beautiful person, inside and out. Vegan and strongly involved in animal rights and rescue. Oh, and Gillian Anderson, my goddess and my inspiration throughout my youth. I suppose I should mention my boyfriend, too. But of course, last but most certainly not least - mein Liebling. <3 ^_~
Easiest to talk to: Guys, I guess. I usually feel like one of them, until they start trying to grab my tits.
-DO YOU/ARE YOU-
Could you live without the computer?: I doubt it. Not unless I was out in the bush or countryside where I could live a fulfilling life without the need for the constant distraction the net provides. But the fact that my friends are mostly in other countries makes it a little difficult and expensive to keep in touch other ways. That and you can't show off your new art or whatever over the phone.
What's your favourite fruit?: Blood oranges and blood plums. I'm a fruit vampire!
What hurts the most?: People.
Trust others way too easily?: I tend to not trust enough, but then if I do give my trust I give too much and end up getting hurt and hurting others, which leads to me trusting even less the next time. Most of my friends disappear for some reason or another as soon as I realise I actually want to keep them as friends, and if I have a crush they vanish even faster. Which now means that I can talk to people and enjoy their company until I start liking them, then all I do is worry that they're going to leave me and I automatically start getting distant and shutting them out partly to avoid my own pain and partly to avoid theirs. And what sucks is that I know I do this, I analyse the fuck out of myself, and still can't fix it. It's ridiculous. We have the intelligence to realise we're idiots who are just making things harder for ourselves yet we haven't got the intelligence to do anything about it. Humans, eh? e_e
-NUMBER-
Of times you have had your heart broken?: Too damn many.
Of hearts you have broken? See above.
Of girls kissed? I lost count, but lmao... still not enough.
Of boys kissed? *Tries to remember* Er...
Of drugs taken illegally?: You serious? Hehehe... well, I smoke weed every day, I don't take as many pills these days 'cause I can't afford them, but I'll take what I can get. And I've been doing so for over a decade, so don't think you can talk me out of it now. I've had all the spiels and rants and arguements thrown at me and I'm attempting to study for a career in medicine so it's not like I haven't got a clue about this shit. You'd have to be stupid not to notice all the anti-drug propaganda out there, don't think I'm not aware of it. But you wanna know the truth, why I do it? 'Cause I like it. Okay? To quote Bill Hicks, "I've had some killer fucking times on drugs! Never robbed anyone, never raped anyone, never lost anything... Laughed my ass off, and went about my day."
Of tight friends? I don't know... five-ish? I never really counted them, and keep thinking of people to add to the list, but I love them all. However, they're all but one in other countries, which makes it hard to have drunken gatherings.
Of CD's owned?: Not that many, since I'm still stuck on cassettes. I love my old tapes. But I have quite a few mp3s. ^_^
Of scars on my body?: Don't make me count them. I can't even tell in some places, there's so many layered over the top of each other I can't make out individual ones anymore. I'm surprised I have any blood left. XD
-ARE YOU A...-
Wuss: Well, I hate saying no to a friend so will go through years of torment rather than break off a relationship or tell a friend that something they do bugs me, but I'll take on a gang of drunken Nyoongars in Northbridge if they try to steal my cigarettes. Emotionally I'm a pussy, but my pain tolerance has been described as "abnormal". xD
Gang member: Er... no.
Daydreamer: Hell yeah.
Alcoholic: Again, hell yeah. XD
Freak: Probably.
Brat: Yeah, lol.
Sarcastic: Sarcasm is my first language, before English.
Goody-goody: Fuck I hope not.
Angel: What's the difference between this one and the one above it? Though, if you make it "Angel of Death" I'll accept that - I love that song, and Mengele rules.
evil: I hope I am, but one can never learn enough ways to be more evil.
Friend: To animals and the people I care about, hopefully I am. Though I'm not known for being exactly "friendly".
Shy: In a way, yes. In another way, no. I confuse myself there. Basically, I have "social anxiety" apparently, and I'm extremely antisocial anyway - I hate pretty much everyone. So while I may start flipping out in certain situations, and don't want to talk to most people because I simply don't like them, I'm actually fairly outgoing and amiable if you get me at the right moment, prove that you're going to be decent conversation, or just give me a few drinks.
Adventurous: Usually, I mean shit, I swam in lava tunnels with glow worms, wrestled massive sea turtles so we could check their tags and weigh them and generally try and help preserve their species, had all manner of animals kick me in the head and various other body parts, climbed around like a monkey on crack in some of the most remote gorges in Australia, ski'd over the Snowy Mountains with a dislocated hip and sprained ankle, danced with a black snake, slid down rapids on my arse, fed a wild horse off a plate, discovered I was allergic to koalas, assisted a wildlife vet in doing autopsies, went to a haunted opium den, saw a lot of cool places and generally just had a buttload of fun while I was growing up thanks to my mother's incredible notion to 4WD around the country (from when I was 10-15), and an uncanny win in a Kelloggs' "Win-A-Wish" contest that got us to America, Mexico and a tiny bit of Canada for three months when I was 9. But lately I've been too tired and sick and just... weird... to be all that adventurous. I was in a giant funk for a while there. Hopefully that'll be changing though. I miss fun.
Intelligent: God I hope so. Still... I can't help but doubt sometimes.
-SELF ANALYSIS YOU PROBABLY DON'T WANT TO DO-
Your best feature [personality]: Oh hell, I don't know. Lots of people would disagree with me here and say it's not a good feature to have, but I'm going to do my usual thing and think in terms of what's good for the planet rather than what's going to gain me popularity, and say that my best personality feature is the fact that I am not afraid to cause a problem if it is in the best interest of the environment or the planet. My ethics may be different to those of a lot of people, but at least I've thought mine out and come to my own conclusions rather than simply following what I'm told, and I stick to my morals even if it's killing me.
Most annoying thing you do: Depends who you ask, but some people have told me it's my habit of apologising too much, over-thinking things, and reading too much into every situation. I often think the most annoying thing I do is exist, but then I just feel like I'm being emo and get annoyed at myself for that. I'm just annoying all 'round. ^_^
Biggest mistake you've made this far: Oh god, don't ask. Seriously, don't fucking ask. There are a lot, but some of them are real fucking big. Big like that thing from Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy describing the size of space: "Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how absolutely mind-bogglingly big it is. You might think it's a long walk down the block to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space." So just don't ask unless you wanna see me go real fucking weird real fucking quick.
Describe your personality in one word: Fucked.
A smell that makes you smile: Weed smoke. :"3 Can't help it, it does. Horse smell makes me smile too, but in a different way. One is the smell of distraction from the reality I have, the other is the smell of the reality I want.
A city you'd like to visit: Heidelberg.
A drink you order most often: Millers Genuine Draft.
The music you prefer while alone: HIM, Placebo, Joy Division, Smashing Pumpkins, Nirvana, Rammstein... hey, didn't I list this stuff earlier?
A TV show you watch regularly: Anatomy for Beginners. Viva la Bam. True Blood, Legend of the Seeker, Carnivale, Jackass, WildBoyz, and I love Dirty Sanchez but can never find them on TV... my mother has cable though, I must steal it. >.> Although... my all-time favourite will always be X-Files... and I still watch it even if they won't put it back on. That's what DVDs and videos are for. T_T
You live in: Australia. That's as specific as I'm getting here. Those of you who know me well enough know more of the details.